Staying safe on Date Overnight

What we check, and what we don't

Photos are checked; people's words are not. Every photo is reviewed before it appears, and the image rules don't allow nudity or lingerie. What people write about themselves (age, job, marital status, which city they're in) is not checked by anyone.

Some members buy an optional ID-verified badge, issued after an ID and selfie check by LEM Verify. The badge means the person matched their own ID when they took the check. It doesn't mean they're kind, single, honest about their intentions or safe to be alone with, so the usual first-meeting habits still apply to everyone.

A profile that travels further than you do

Your profile can be seen well beyond this site. Date Overnight shares one member database with partner sites in the same network, so write it with that in mind:

• Leave out your surname, employer, job title and the name of your hotel.
• Use photos that aren't on your work profile or public social media; a reverse image search can link the two.
• Sign up with an email address you only use for dating.
• Give the area you're staying in, not the street.

Scams aimed at travellers

A romance scam is a con in which someone builds trust through messages and then asks for money. Most follow the same shape: warmth, then urgency, then a request. Stop replying and report the profile if someone:

• asks for money, gift cards or cryptocurrency for any reason, such as a ticket, a taxi, a hotel deposit, a visa, a medical bill or a phone that's been "cut off"
• asks you to pay a "verification" or "safety" fee to meet them, or to prove you're not police
• pushes you to move to another messaging app within a few messages
• always wants to meet but keeps cancelling, or claims to be travelling too and stuck somewhere
• brings up investments or trading, however casually

The US Federal Trade Commission's advice is simple: never send money or gifts to someone you haven't met in person. If you already have, contact your bank or payment company straight away.

Sextortion is a threat to share intimate photos or messages unless you pay. Don't pay and don't negotiate. Keep screenshots, report the profile, and report it to the police.

Reporting a problem

Report the profile on the site first, then report any money lost at home. Use the members area, or the help centre with the member's profile name and screenshots, then:

If you're in danger, call the local emergency number first. The travel safety checklist lists emergency numbers and how to reach your government's consular help abroad.

Meeting someone for the first time

A friend knows who, where and when; the first meeting is somewhere busy and staffed near where you're staying, not your hotel; you watch your drink; and you have your own way back. The full list is in what to sort before the first drink, and meeting people in a new city covers choosing a venue.

Consent and sexual health

Consent means a clear, freely given yes from both people, each time. It isn't owed because of a message, a dinner or a long trip. Either person can slow down or stop at any point, and someone who's very drunk can't agree to anything. If the other person goes quiet or seems unsure, check rather than assume.

Bring your own condoms rather than relying on a hotel shop that closes at ten. Local pharmacies and sexual-health clinics can usually help with advice or testing while you're away.

If you've been sexually assaulted, get somewhere safe and seek medical help. Free, confidential support lines include RAINN in the US (800-656-4673), Rape Crisis in England and Wales (0808 500 2222), the Dublin Rape Crisis Centre in Ireland (1800 77 8888, 24 hours) and 1800RESPECT in Australia (1800 737 732, 24 hours).

For how the rest of the site works, read how Date Overnight works and Is Date Overnight legit?